Does Your Child Have Special Needs?
Written by Sue Cusato
One of the most difficult things to talk to a parent about is whether or not their child has special needs. As a special educator for nearly thirty years and a parent of a child with special needs, I have been on both sides of the table with this topic.
As teachers in the children’s ministry, we have probably been faced with this situation more than once. A child comes to our class and just isn’t able to participate fully. Maybe they can’t seem to stay focused or in their seat? Maybe they can’t read the Scripture or don’t seem to understand the lesson?
If you’ve ever wondered how to talk to a parent in such a situation, here are some suggestions:
- Always start with something positive. “It was really great to have Johnny in class today. He seemed to have a good time.” “Your son is so enthusiastic.” There is always something good to say about every child.
- Ask a question that will help you to help the child. “I was wondering if there is anything your child needs in order to be able to participate more fully?” “I noticed he was quite active, and I would like to know what I might do to help him settle in better?”
- Make sure the parents feel their child is wanted in the class. Please don’t greet them at the door with “Wow, Sally was really having a hard time in here today.”
- Once you’ve established a relationship with the parents you could ask these questions regarding school. “Does your child receive any extra help at school?” “Is she in a smaller class?” or “Do you attend special meetings for your child?”
- Be patient. Some parents have been through the wringer in the school system and are leery of opening up. Try showing a lot of grace and meeting the child (and parents) where they are at. Once a parent feels you are on their side, most will welcome suggestions and feedback to make their child’s experience in class more positive and productive.
- Finally, if you’re really not sure what to do; get advice! There is usually someone in your ministry who has had experience with talking to parents. Ministry leaders, teachers, social workers and older parents are great resources.
Remember Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14 NIV
Sue Cusato
Westchester, NY
