“I’ll Praise You in the Storm” by Casting Crowns was the ringtone I had picked for my phone in 2008, little knowing that it would soon become the metaphor and anthem for my life.
It was in that year that Dan and I were to enter our 21st year in the full time ministry together; and we were doing better than we’d ever had. Dan had found his ultimate niche by becoming the youth and family minister at our church. He was going back to graduate school at Harding University to pursue his Master’s in Ministry and was also so excited to be leading both youth camps for the Heartland Region that summer. I remember that Dan always said the happiest week of his year was when he was able to serve at Kids Kamp.
That summer was no different. Actually we had also planned a little bit busier summer by adding a trip to Juarez Mexico to participate in “Casa por Cristo” to build homes for the homeless. Our entire family was excited to serve the poor together. Both camps went off amazingly. After getting home from the second camp of the summer, Kids Kamp, we had a two-day turn around before we left for Mexico. With a flurry of activity we were soon packed and ready to go. Dan had asked our summer intern, Andrew Berrnitt, to spend the night so that he could drive us all to the airport early in the morning.
Around 3:30 a.m. Dan sat straight up in our bed and began to flail around. Startled, I rushed around the bed to call 911 and try and keep him on the bed. In shock, I screamed. My son, Taylor, ran into the room to see all of the commotion. He then ran out to wake up my daughter Alex, as well as Andrew. I was being instructed to do CPR by the woman on the telephone, but the only thing that I could think was, ‘I cannot believe this is happening’. Shortly thereafter, on the way to the hospital, I remember that I could not even form the words to pray. As we were ushered into a small waiting room the nurse informed us that things were not going well. John and Barri Lusk, our good friends, had arrived as we sat and waited. Another waiting room close by began to fill up with disciples and friends. At around 4:30 a.m. the doctor entered into our waiting room and told us that they had done everything that they could. Dan had died of a heart attack, just at the young age of 44.
The biggest storm of my life had just hit, and it had come without warning. As Barri and I walked in to see Dan, it was as if I was being hit by a tsunami. I felt like I was being tossed around in the brutal waves. As I sat next to Dan I began to weep. Internally, I began to feel an anchor being lowered. I felt an intense inner calm anchoring me in. ‘God is Sovereign, God is good, God does not make mistakes’. While outwardly my world was spinning, inwardly I was being secured. All I could keep saying was “God is Sovereign.” Dan finished his race and made it to Heaven. The next couple of days were a complete blur. Over 800 friends and family from all over the country came to celebrate Dan’s life, and his funeral truly was an amazing tribute to his legendary impact on others.
It has been two and a half years since that fateful night, and I have learned so much since then. Grief is hard work! I miss Dan deeply and profoundly. The story that resonates the most with me is Matthew 7:24-27 about the wise and foolish builders at the end of the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus ended his sermon with the simplicity of this story. Storms will come into all our lives. It is how we build that will determine how we survive. Those that hear the Word and put it into practice are wise and their house will stand against the storm. Those who hear the Word and do not put it into practice will not survive the storm.
The love of the Word
It is never the big sweeping things that help us, but the dailiness and simplicity of hearing and reading God’s word. Believing and obeying it is what helps us survive the storms of life. I had been believing, trusting and building my foundation for 25 years before the biggest storm of my life hit. I had soaked in many truths especially that ‘God is Sovereign, God is good, and God does not make mistakes’. I believed it and obeyed it. It continues to anchor me in.
The love of Prayer
From the start I was amazed at how I felt humbled and supernaturally sustained by the prayers of all the saints. I literally felt carried and strengthened by people all over the world lifting me and my family up in prayer to God. Never underestimate your prayer life; it truly helps people survive the storm.
The love of Relationships
I am eternally grateful for my physical family as well as my spiritual family, who both have helped float me along in my storm. Again it is the simplicity of building deep friendships that helps when the storms hit. You are able to survive such storms because you know that you will have an amazing support system already in place.
I know many other storms await me as I continue on my journey with God. I can and will praise Him in the storm because He is Sovereign, He is good, and He does not make mistakes.
May you daily build your house on the Word, prayer and relationships as you await your own storms.
