There are times in my life when my “singleness” overwhelms me. I can often feel that I am ready to settle down and get married. The “white picket fence” is in sight. This realization sometimes serves as a catalyst in the battle for contentment and purity that we single women can face. A relationship can seems like the only solution to the feeling of discontent. While elusive the thought of it can create an air of fulfilment.
Let’s say that God gives this relationship to you…this man that you have been waiting for… the children. Will that complete you? Will the longing in your soul go away? Is this the instant fix that makes everything right? The desire for companionship is one that can consume the mind of every woman. Is this companionship only one that we want with our male counterpart or is the longing deeper….something that comes from a desire to know the creator and lover of your soul? I have recently crossed into the “I think I am ready stage”, but I question if my increasing desire for husband and family equals my desire to know and be known by God.
I truly believe God does not give us desires that he is unable to fulfil. It is our heart and motives that God examines and he knows what is best for us. Psalm 18: 30 states “As for God his way is perfect.” The fact that we are single is a part of God’s perfect plan for our lives. He is aware of our loneliness, our desire for companionship or even our desire for our own little family and the children we have already named. But do these weigh more in our hearts than our desire for God?
Sometimes in our urgency to claim our mate we put God at the back of the bus in our decision making. We find a potential companion, but very little inquiry is made of God. We can begin to walk the line in deciding who we want to please more, God or ourselves. It is times like this that Satan swoops in and tempts us with the things we want most and we neglect God’s guidance and rely on self.
Proverbs 25:28 states
“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a (wo)man who lacks self-control”
This passage is very thought provoking. A city without a wall is unprotected and vulnerable. Does this describe us in our quest to date or get married? Have we let our walls down and are now open to anything even the schemes that Satan has designed to snatch us. We must remember in Christ our understanding of relationships and their purpose must line up with his plan and design.
We have all had moments where we shout aloud about some situation in our lives, but if this outcry is not tempered by the Holy Spirit it can be detrimental to a heart that needs intimacy with God to survive. Singles, while that man will satisfy the temporary need in your heart he cannot heal or fill the void that God perfectly fills.
I recently uttered again those same words “I’m ready”. I had a hard week. I felt lonely and disconnected with God. I felt the need to be comforted, held, and protected from the drama of my life. I needed a “pick me up”.
My reality was and will always remain that all the things I want: comfort, protection and escape I can find in the security and confidence that comes from the word of God. It is amazing that no one can fill me the way God does. He fits my heart perfectly.
