In part 1 I sought to give some background on God’s perspective of forgiveness. In this article I will share some thoughts I have found helpful on my path to forgiving from the heart.
I have come to realize that forgiveness is not just words I speak, or lip service. I must really forgive. Jesus sets the standard of how we are to forgive in Luke 23:34: Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
Even as he neared his last breaths, Jesus did not let the sin of lack of forgiveness take over his heart. He could have chosen to sin, moments before he died…but he did not. Mark 11:25: And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
I must realize that I am not unique to being hurt. I can always find other people hurt in the same way, and I need to realize that most offenses are committed without intention of hurting me personally.
As I forgive others, I must also learn to trust God’s promise to forgive me and allow others to forgive me for any harm I may have caused him/her. There is power in the actual words, “Will you forgive me?” Sometimes the person is not available, but you can still ask for forgiveness personally.
I have needed to accept forgiveness from God, “For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.” Ps.25:11
Forgiving and being forgiven is a large part of the process of forgiveness.
The other part is accomplished by finding some element of good from the negative experience. I have come to realize that I must find some aspect that is positive to me.When I store this thinking right on top of the previously stored negative feelings it changes my perspective to one that is more neutral, and not overlaid with negative thoughts and feelings.
Romans 12:21: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
The purpose of finding the good in any experience is to learn from that experience. Every experience, even the hard ones can draw us closer to God and help us grow. (Rom.8:28).
2 Corinthians 1:3-7: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. [5] For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. [6] If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. [7] And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
Forgiveness doesn’t change my situation, but helps my emotions and even my physical body respond only to currently appropriate stimuli. I then don’t pile offense upon offense. You forgive for YOUR sake. It relieves your body of stress.
I have found that an important part of the forgiveness process is to be THANKFUL for the good I receive with every lesson of life (Eph.5:15-20; Phil.4:4-7; Col.3:15-17).
Thankfulness is the key to an attitude that feeds positive emotions that are stores in my memory bank.
Forming a regular habit of forgiving and being thankful will change your life. It’s the foundation for a positive outlook on life and people.
For me, I have found that forgiveness=thankfulness=positive attitude=good self-esteem=unconditional love.
Learn to love as Jesus loves. See yourself and others through the eyes of God.
1 John 4:16-19 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. [17] In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. [18] There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
[19] We love because he first loved us.
Applying the forgiving-thankful-lesson-learning process to yourself (for whatever sins of commission and/or omission you can think of) can be one of the most freeing, stress-relieving exercises you can do. It has certainly freed my soul and made a difference in my outlook on life.
