When I think of surrender I get a mental image of a person with their hands up over their head, at gunpoint. Maybe I watched too many old WW II movies as a child. Yes, that’s my mental image of surrender. This also takes me to the idea of lifting my hands over my head, which unless I am holding a barbell loaded with weight over my head, I do not do. I don’t lift my hands in worship, or on a roller coaster, and I don’t wave them up in the air. It’s just not my thing, and generally makes me uncomfortable. So you can imagine how the journey to surrender may be a truly uncomfortable and foreign one to me. It has been a terrifying yet incredible journey nonetheless.
“But he said, ‘What is impossible with man, is possible with God.’” — Luke 18:27 (ESV)
I’ve gone through a really intimate and powerful process with God over the last few months, and it’s only beginning. I’ve spent more time in his word and in prayer daily than I had in a long time, multiple hours a day. I fought hard and allowed God to unearth pain and fear within me that I had never dealt with, and yet, he keeps pulling up more. I put down shame I was unable to in the past and truly allowed him to reveal the depths of my sin and it’s consequences to me. I devoured His word, cried out in prayer, and went beyond myself begging God to reveal, restore, redeem, and change me. I would not yield as I fought for my salvation and true transformation. And because God is faithful, He delivered and continues to do so.
“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” — Romans 10:17 (ESV)
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