It’s the moment when your heart aches, as you see someone you love grapple with a question you know the answer to, but it is not your place to answer. It makes no difference if it’s a beloved friend, spouse or your child, when we see someone we love question or struggle on their journey, it can be hard to just let them. Taking my hands off my life means just that sometimes – accepting what is and letting people do their own wrestling while I lay them at the foot of the cross.
Other times, taking my hands off my life is grieving and accepting disappointments instead of reaching for control or numbing out. It’s recognizing and acknowledging there are still things I need to take my hands off of and release into God’s most capable hands. Sometimes letting someone you love grapple with reaching their own answer collides with your disappointment. I can be disappointed in others decisions as they relate to or affect me. Taking my hands off my life means surrendering both. I’m learning how to do this and move ahead confidently.
“But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” –Micah 7:7 (AMP)
When I was younger I developed an idea of what my life needed to be. I chose a career in international development, work I thought was heroic and noble. I wanted to change the world, still do. Yet, at the root, I thought that if I could live this life then I’d know I had value and worth. I still do this work, but my motives shifted. I no longer find my worth in it. Even in Christ I can still grapple with where my self-worth comes from. I later shifted my self-worth and value to a person. In both these instances, I recognize that sometimes when it comes to my life I have told God how I wanted it. I used God, telling him what I wanted him to do, trying to put him in my debt as I served, gave, and did all the things I thought were worthy. If my circumstances didn’t turn out as I desired I was disappointed and angry. This was, and is, my pride.
