“Grace demands nothing of us in payment, but everything of us in trust.” – Unknown
Understanding grace has been a lifelong struggle for me. As I have leaned into both joy and sorrow this year the very real concept of grace has come up a lot. As I began to talk about it I started to see just how many men and women around me struggle to understand and accept grace also.
Tim Keller says, “Come see a man who saw me to the bottom and loved me to the skies.” To be known and rejected for it, is incredibly painful. It can stifle our trust in grace but it can also expose the futility of our striving to earn our worth. When someone I loved most in life rejected me it shattered me, shaking my faith to its very core. I lost faith in myself and shame overtook me. Yet God keeps bringing me back to the truth: I am chosen, in love, for purpose that is beyond me, and so are you. Grace gives us the power to transform our shame from anger and resentment into acceptance of ourselves and dependence on our loving father.
Returning to the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-31, I was so struck by the son’s genuine repentance and grace; not when he recognized his foolish ways and wanted to repay his Father, but when he received his father’s welcome and abandoned his self-sufficient offer to become a hired servant. God, the father, wants me as his daughter, not a servant.
In verse 13 we see the son squander his wealth. In 14 he begins to be in need. In 15 he tries to independently meet his own need. And in 16 he begins to be broken and humbled by his need. In verses 18 through 21 we see the son’s plan is to apologize because he finally sees himself for who he really is and what he really deserves. Yet, in verses 22 to 24 the outpouring of unexpected love and grace from the heartbroken father is so powerful. This is a truth I often need to return to when I want to earn my way into his grace. In love, God shows me my shortcomings, faults and failures, not to shame me or have me earn my way back to him, but so that I can own and be accountable to him for my feelings and behaviors. He gives me courage to see the aspects about myself that I was unable or unwilling to see. He does not reject me because of them. It is not out of obedience that I get my value, but rather I obey out of my value to him.
