“Our Calling”
Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 12:1- 3 (NIV)
Dear non-full time supported evangelists and ministers,
The purpose of these next few paragraphs is to encourage those who formerly were in the paid full time ministry and may not be currently, and are trying to find their way.
It’s been a little over two years since I held the responsibility to minister God’s family somewhere, on a full-time basis. It has been a wild ride to say the least on what has happened to me physically, emotionally and spiritually in the midst of it all.
I have been depressed, bitter, helpless, alone, dejected, in-debt, faithless, angry, frightful, full of pain, humbled, filled with grief… and then… hopeful, excited, zealous, faithful, joyful, encouraged, believed in…. and some more of being… overly stressed, felt unappreciated, unheard, isolated from my family, over-worked, weak, unfulfilled, and many other emotions of close association. At times, the only thing I found comfort in was knowing that the day was going to end, and that tomorrow it might be better.
I’ve had (and still have) a wife that has been faithful for me and to me, children that has always showed me love, disciples that served my family and still do so. Yet I could not figure out why I was feeling so sad. One could argue, (and I have with God about this) that the reason I felt this way, lies within my circumstances.
For most of my 12 years as a Christian, I have been serving our God and our fellowship as a full-time minister. I have attended, organized and most time lead, countless Bible talks, services, conferences, classes, retreats, discipling times, camps, and many other group type settings, to name a few. For the last two years it has not been easy to even attend activities like these, much less engage in them.
I have worked anywhere from 45-60 hours a week, even 70 at times, in order to support a family of five. I have worked three different jobs in, three different locations. My many hours of commuting has also contributed to times that have isolated me from the fellowship, our church services, my own family and close brothers.
I have been angry that I have not found a job that could meet the needs of my family financially, a job that would fulfill me as a person, a job that facilitated me to have dinner with my family, and see my kids go to bed at night. A job that provided the flexibility for me to be more involved with the church so I can help in areas I know I can help. I have been angry that I have not found a job where my co-workers would appreciate me, a job where I could use all the talents I have acquired while serving in God’s church. These are the things I have been praying about and putting before God.
I have found myself having to deal with a question that God has been “trying” to ask me throughout this difficult time. Because for me, I know how important it is to attend the services, to have great fellowship and be with my family. I have seen over and over again, for years and years, what 
becomes of the man or woman who is not plugged in to God and His Body. Yet for me, this “place” God has placed me in, has been a little different and unexpected. God’s question to me was, “John, I see you want to do more for me, but am I enough for you?” For these last 2 years I have to admit, that in my heart, He wasn’t enough. I wanted the “church activity” luxuries we so often take for granted, in order to feel like God was with me, in addition to my personal times with God. Repentance was in order!
Of special note, part of these separations from the fellowship has also helped me heal a very tender part of my heart that dealt with trust. I realized that it wasn’t that I would not do anything for God, it was that I had placed conditions to God, on how I would serve him, given another opportunity. We’ve all been hurt in some degree, by circumstances in the church, but we must seek God to heal these. I am pleased to say that I am completely healed of that very important stage of my life.
I had come to a conclusion in this last bout of coming out of the full-time ministry, that God, had other plans for my life outside the full-time ministry.
The conditions that had me step out of the full-time ministry had nothing to do with my abilities to serve, although maybe in God’s wisdom He, as is able to, saw what the future held had I stayed then. So, I reserve to not dwell on those circumstances. Instead I want to share what I have learned. I do want to ermphasize that I did not come to learning these lessons easy, but because I have wrestled, suffered and prayed through them. Some of my closest brothers can argue I have also complained, cried and pouted about my circumstances as well.
I have stated for many years that keeping me working as an evangelist was God’s way of keeping me faithful. I would say to myself, “If I can focus on helping others, I myself would remain saved.” That theory is out the window, so to speak! God has made it clear that this is about Him and me, more than anything else, and everything else is second (as it should be). As a preacher, these are things I would preach and have preached for years. My circumstance has put meat on the bones, if you will, to my evidently powerful convictions that had not been tested, until now, of course.
So here is the good news, the apostle Paul said it best, (Philippians 4:12-13). I have recently found strength in my God.
I want to stress an importance to you my fellow brothers and sisters who are maybe in a similar place. My circumstances have not changed! My heart, my mind and my convictions have (Colossians 3:2). I believe again in my calling to be full time for God whether I am paid or not. I do desire to be in a place that could support me full time again someday, if an opportunity arises, but I will not wait until then to serve my God and His people and if this applies… neither should you.
A dear brother, once referred to being in the ministry as a career. I lovingly corrected him, telling him that it is not a career, but a calling from God. I do not know where each reader is at, as you read this, but God knows. Some of you know that God is calling you to engage with Him, to what you have been called. To use your talents to help others, because your unique skill set and experience has been given to you by the example of our Lord and Savior. Your making Jesus Lord and being appointed meant you would lead the way in giving many others hope in the mist of trials, love when many feel despair, courage when their is much to fear, direction when life seems aimless. We were called to preach the Good News!
I am pleased to hear that there are many past staff men and women that have found their place, and are doing great spiritually both in their secular career and in the church. You are an example for many, and I know God appreciates what you do! Thank you for your labor in the Lord.
Practically, it was important for me to retrace my steps to what got me thinking clearly once again. When we look at many people in the scriptures it teaches us again and again, that setbacks are common in life. You and I will continue to have them. I have narrowed down three basic things in order of importance that has helped me overcome my personal setbacks. 
1- “God and me” times are irreplaceable.
Bible reading, prayer, singing to God in the car, crying to Him as I recite the psalms, sharing His word with my wife, are just a few here. (Matt. 4:4)
I choose to fill my gaps of times thinking about the living Word, listening to cd’s, reading spiritual books, reciting and memorizing scriptures. I also hear sermons from all places so that I can get Gods Word from every resource possible that I can think of. I am learning and training myself on how to grow in the presence of God, so that I may be a light to others.
2-Exercise and Diet
I have consistently been working out and eating better for the past 5 weeks, the bible says that “physical training is of some value” (1Tim. 4:8). I have found that without exercise, my mood changes for the worse, my motivation dips low and my self esteem takes a hit. Personally, working out does help me deal with stress, and I have seen enough studies out there that links working out to our ability to feel happy. Very true for me.
3- Family Protection and Appreciation
Although this should really be second on the list, because my family are truely more important than the above, I have found I am happier and more energetic, when my moods are where they should be… self-controlled and ready to serve.
God I believe has given me great convictions about the following. My job, temporary titles, and life situations are ever changing, but one thing because of my love for God, will remain constant.
I, as long as I live, will be a husband to my wife and a father of the three wonderful children God has blessed me with. My best of me will be spent on them, I will relentlessly pursue growing spiritually, to help us make it to heaven. I will think about them, pray for them, protect them, place ourselves near others that will help them no matter the cost, time or energy. (1Tim. 5:8)
I will fight for their faith, and prove worthy to what God has given to me.
In life, I have spent a lot of energy on many worthy projects, and things… None can ever compare to the love I must display daily to my family. In addition, I daily write in a journal what I appreciated about God, my wife and each of my children on that particular day. It helps center my thoughts and priorities when life feels full of stuff.
I know that some who are reading this can relate to what I am saying, my challenge to you is to do something now about your circumstance. The church you are a part of needs you today, not yesterday. Don’t live in the past, decide to offer your first fruits if you have been withholding them. We promised to give our best to God, it is time right now to give again.
Furthermore, what I am not saying is that everyone who has been in the full-time ministry should return to the full-time ministry. What I am saying is, do not withdraw your hearts from God’s plan for you. Don not resist the Holy Spirit. He is their to direct us, calling us to serve maybe in a whole different capacity. Our God always will exceed our expectations if we are faithful.
Many brothers and sisters before us, have sacrificed much to bring us to where we are as a movement. They did it because God lead the way in their lives and in their hearts. The work is unfinished, the land is ripe for the harvest.
In 2003 Sam Powell, NYCCC elder at the time heard I was stepping out of the full-time ministry because we felt it was best for our family and the church. He asked, with a real serious face for my, “Evangelist badge”, a “badge” given to me 3 years earlier when Willis Ware and Matt Fridley appointed me to preach the Word, as Paul did for Timothy thousands of years earlier. I, with great conviction told him, that I would never give up that “badge”, that becoming an evangelist was a God given role, I said only God can take that away from me. Sam was very pleased with my answer.
I tell you brothers and sisters, that I never took off the badge but I did “place it down”, and “put it in a drawer.” I have since dug this up and have tattooed it back on my chest, because I, as long as I live, and their are people to preach to, will never take it off again.
God is calling on all the workers, and he has called you and I to serve His people. It is a blessing, it is good work, it is fulfilling, it is labor in the Lord, it is following Jesus, it is the way of the cross, it is the heart of our Lord, it is what he died for, it is our calling!
Grace and Mercy be with you all!
John
John Basilio, is a disciple in the Triangle Church of Christ, he currently with great joy, serves as translator for the Spanish ministry.
919-604-1990
basilios4@yahoo.com
