I was born in Charleston, West Virginia, the youngest of seven siblings. By the time I was eight years old, my mother and father divorced. Upon the divorce, my mother decided to move to Paterson, New Jersey. She had a brother living there. She took the two youngest children with her, which was me and an older brother.
Not having a full time father in my life caused me to seek attention through relationships. At the age of eighteen I got involved with a 26 year old man. He was physically abusive to me. Eventually I was pregnant with his child, but the abuse didn’t stop. After three years, he fathered another woman’s child, and that was when I made my decision to leave him.
I was a 22 year old single mother of a son, named Dominique, when I was invited to church. I studied the Bible and was baptized with our Newark, New Jersey Church. In the midst of this, my parents decided to remarry and my mother moved back to West Virginia.
Unfortunately, I fell away quickly after being baptized. I also moved back to West Virginia. I lived there for almost a year. I realized leaving the church was a big mistake and returned back to New Jersey and reconnected with them. I was restored and baptized again. Everything was going well; however, there was still a part of me that longed to be in a relationship again. I became prideful and arrogant and to the point I was willing to put my faith aside and look outside of God’s Kingdom. On September 24, 1999, I decided to leave GOD and pursue a worldly relationship.
In the beginning, it seemed okay, but eventually things began to unravel. He developed a crack and heroin addiction. Also, I found out that he was going to prison (information he didn’t disclose in the beginning), yet I still waited on him. After his 18- month prison term, we decided to move to Charleston, WV for a fresh start. I had family here so it made sense. Things only got worse. I found out I was pregnant. My pregnancy was very difficult and I was put on bed rest and told not to work. This was probably the most depressing time in my life. While I was homebound, he would disappear for weeks at a time. When he was there, he would lash out and belittle me as well as my older son, who was a teenager now. I had another son, whom I named Clever.
My breaking point was when he finally decided to get a job; he had an affair with one of his coworkers. This is when I asked him to leave. He moved back to New Jersey.
I was very unhappy and didn’t like where my life was going. I would often reflect back on my life as a disciple and how fulfilled I was. I knew I needed to go back. The only problem was there wasn’t a church here. Due to financial reasons, moving back to New Jersey wasn’t an option. I researched online to find locations that I could reach by train because I didn’t have a car. The closest was Cincinnati, Ohio. I contacted the church there, met some singles, and went to some church events. I knew this is where I needed to be. I made a few trips there and found a house to rent. I also had a job interview lined up. On one of my visits to Cincinnati, a sister informed me about a church planting in Charleston, WV. Upon hearing this, I knew I needed to stay. This was in December 2010. The planting was scheduled for the summer of 2011.
I chose to wait it out. I would often check the Disciples Today website to find
out exactly when they were coming. When they finally arrived, I sent an email with my phone number; I got phone calls about a week later from Rich and Amanda Bartoli (Evangelist and Women’s Ministry Leader). I came to church services, studied, and had my faith restored.
I can say with confidence that I am here to stay. I know that I had to go through these things to finally realize that if I’m not living to please God, then I’m not living at all. I was barely surviving, and slowly sinking deeper and deeper into darkness and sin. In Revelations 2:4-5 it says: “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place”.
What I learned is that I can’t walk away from God’s and expect a “Godly” life. It will fail! It is always better to be with God as a single person than being in a relationship where God isn’t the foundation.
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